“Do I have to use Diary Cards?” Take a seat, take a breath. Let’s talk.
If you’re doing Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), you’ve probably been handed a Diary Card at some point. Maybe you filled it out for a week, then forgot about it. Maybe you never even took it out of your bag. Or maybe, just maybe, you tried—but it felt like just one more thing on your already overloaded plate.
And that feeling? That’s real. No judgment here. You’re not the only one who has looked at a Diary Card and thought, Ugh, not this again.
But let’s slow down for a moment. Why does something as simple as tracking your emotions, urges, and behaviors feel like having a second job? What’s really happening when you resist it?
What Is A Diary Card Even For?
Diary Cards help track emotions, urges, behaviors, and DBT skill use over time. They offer an actual snapshot of what was happening when you felt angry, numb, panicked, or impulsive—instead of relying on memory, which is unreliable at best.
Therapist: What do you think the Diary Card is supposed to help with?
Client: I don’t know… tracking stuff?
Therapist: Tracking what, exactly?
Client: Emotions, urges, behaviors? I guess?
Therapist: Exactly. And why do you think tracking those things might be useful?
Client: I mean, I get that it helps see patterns, but it still feels like a chore.
Therapist: That makes sense. But let’s think about it this way—if you don’t track, how do you know what’s actually working for you?
Why Do Therapists Care So Much?
Because without real-time tracking, sessions turn into a guessing game. If your therapist asks, “How was your week?”and you respond with “I don’t know, it was fine. Bad? Normal?”—that’s not exactly useful information.
A Diary Card tells the real story.
With it:
- You can see what skills worked (or didn’t) instead of just hoping DBT is doing something.
- You notice patterns in moods and behaviors you might not have picked up on.
- Your therapist can tailor sessions to what’s actually happening, not just what you remember.
Without it:
- Your therapy sessions rely on memory, which is fuzzy at best.
- You might not recognize harmful patterns until they’ve repeated for months.
- Your therapist has to dig a lot harder to understand what’s really going on.
So yeah, therapists love them because they make therapy way more effective. But does that mean you have to do them? Well…
Human brains don’t store experiences like a video recording—they filter, delete, and distort information all the time. Strong emotions often shape how people remember things, sometimes making painful moments feel worse in hindsight or downplaying struggles that were actually significant.
When you don’t track, you risk rewriting your experiences in ways that might not fully reflect what really happened, which can make it harder to recognize progress or identify what needs to change.
What If I Can’t Keep Up With Them?
Then you’re in very good company. Diary Cards can be hard to maintain, and you’re not the only one who struggles.
Therapist: What’s the hardest part about using them?
Client: I forget to fill them out. Or I do it right before the session and just make stuff up.
Therapist: Why do you think that happens?
Client: I don’t know, I get busy? Or maybe I just don’t like seeing all my emotions laid out like that. It’s overwhelming. Actually, it feels like another chore.
Therapist: That makes a lot of sense. You’re not alone in that. Many people struggle with keeping up with Diary Cards, and it’s often because they feel like a chore or bring up tough emotions. But let’s sit with that discomfort for a moment. Why do you think it feels so hard to look at these emotions?
Client: Because if I write them down, they become real. I can’t ignore them.
Exactly. When you avoid tracking, it’s often because there’s a part of you that’s resisting change. Heightened emotions, urges you want to break, and behaviors you’re trying to change will naturally push back against something like a Diary Card—because it asks you to face them directly. Of course, it feels like a chore. But what if that discomfort is actually a sign that this tool is working?
What’s The Best Way To Use Diary Cards?
Instead of thinking of Diary Cards as homework, try one of these approaches:
- Keep it ridiculously simple.
Don’t overthink it. Just jot down a few words or rate your emotions from 1-10. - Use your phone.
If paper feels like a hassle, text yourself notes or use an app. - Set a 30-second timer.
At the same time each day, spend literally half a minute filling out what you can. - Make it visual.
Hate writing? Use emojis, color codes, or even voice notes instead. - Skip the guilt.
Missed a few days? Who cares? Just start again when you can.
The most effective way to use Diary Cards? Any way that actually gets you to use them.
What If I Just Don’t Do Them?
Well, nothing catastrophic happens—you won’t get kicked out of therapy. But therapy might move slower. DBT is all about building awareness and changing behaviors, and Diary Cards make that process a lot easier.
Your therapist doesn’t ask you to fill these out just to torture you. They help you spot patterns: When are your urges the highest? What skills actually help? When do things start spiraling? Over time, these tiny data points start painting a big-picture view of what’s actually going on.
If they feel unbearable, talk to your therapist. Maybe you can adjust the format or focus on just one thing instead of trying to track everything at once. There’s no rule that says they have to be perfect. Done is better than perfect.
Are Diary Cards Worth It?
It depends on how you use them. If they help you track patterns, gain insight, and make your therapy sessions more productive, then yes, absolutely.
But if they just feel like an extra burden? Adjust. Simplify. Find a version that works for you.
Because at the end of the day, the goal of DBT isn’t to check boxes on a form—it’s to build a life that feels worth living. However you get there? That’s up to you.